Its about me and my family. Mainly me and the girls. I may twitter or tweet alot but its mostly thoughts and going ons here at home and thoughts about what we might be doing on weekend or our adventures. Sit down and Enjoy what you are reading.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,

stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and

your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully

and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up.

It doesn't matter which number you press,

nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after t he beep

or before the beep or after the beep.

But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.

Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down,

hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.

You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.

You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is

National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering

to contact at least

one unstable person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done . Your turn!)

9 comments:

Mike said...

Are you kidding, I live with three teenage daughters. Either I'm unstable or they are. Come to think about it, two are blonde...

tweetey30 said...

Mike I got this in an e-mail from my mom today and thought I would post it.. LOL.. Its suppose to be funny.. And dont knock us blondes.. We have some brains... I dont know where but we do...

Courtney said...

I actually used this as my outgoing message on my answering machine.

Bridget Jones said...

heh love the menopausal bit!

The Griper said...

he just chuckles, no comment from a mentally unstable ol' geezer who doesn't even remember what the post says anymore. can anyone tell me why i'm chuckling?

Candy Minx said...

Heh heh blonde...guilty as charged! Very cute. Is this really assembled by mental health organization? As a PSA?

Ortho said...

Tweetey, why are you in the hospital? Are you okay? Who is watching your husband, your daughters, and your kitten?

tweetey30 said...

Ortho I am not in the hospital. this was suppose to be funny....LOL... Laughing out Loud..

Candy yes guilty as charged.. LOL.. We would get a long great..

zydeco fish said...

I will be pressing 9 :-(