Hiya all.I know I wasnt sure if I was going to get to a new post today or not. I was watching my afternoon shows for once and I started crying. I got to thinking about the Holiday tomorrow and realizing the only person I have left on my side of the family besides my real dad is my mother.
I was remembering when I was Kora's age how we all used to go and sit at my grandma's house all day long and wait for the turkey to get done and visit with eachother and all the laughter that came and went in one day and some bickering of course.
The only person that kept all of from a full blown fight was my grandfather. I dont know what it was about that man but he kept us all from fighting. He was just wonderful from what I remember of him. He passed away when I was in first grade on Thanksgiving morning.
Then things sort of went down hill but we all still got together at grandma's house and had a blast. I was starting to get old enough to help in the kitchen and do other things besides do dishes. I got to help mash potatoes that year and that was my job every year after that because I got them done better than my mom. LOL...
Then it went and I got out on my own and Jeff's and I's first Thanksgiving together we had Great Grandma, grandma, mom, Ken, Matt, and Bruce at our house. I know none of these names mean anything to most of you but they do to me. Matt was my grandma's life long boyfriend. She wouldnt marry him. And Bruce is my second counsin. It was wonderful having these people in our one bedroom apt at the time. I mean it sounds funny but look at us now.
Then grandma Joan passed away Feb 6th, 1999. She killed herself we think. She OD on some pills she had in the house. They found a carton of milk next to the couch where they found her and some pills shoved down her throat. That is the persons house we used to go to all the time and spend Thanksgiving and most X-mas's at. She was always in pain because when I was very small she was drunk and got hit and her bone in her ankle was removed and she could walk but she had a hole in her ankle.
Great Grandma Elsie had a stroke in 2001 because she just got really depressed from having to bury her daughter two years before and she just couldnt handle it any longer and I miss G G the most. We were really close. She had her stroke and then she my aunt and mom fought over the power of Attorney for a long time. Then my mom put a restraining order on GG and Marie. Well I wasnt suppose to have contact with either of them because of the restraining order but I did anyway. It would have deserved my mother right to go to jail for that one.
Anyway GG went into a nursing home and fell and hit her head about a week before the last time I saw her and she kept telling me she wanted to go home with me to see my mom and they wouldnt let her go. I would have taken her too. She fell one more time after this and they had to put her in the hospital for it and when they put her back in the nursing home she just gave up. She didnt want to be there and I dont blame her really. She passed away Oct 9th,2003.
Now Marie my aunt was 72 years old or so and even after the restraining order was done over the year that my mom had put on her, she wanted nothing to do with my mom. I dont blame her one bit. She was the feisty one in our family and usually started the fights and ended up leaving half way through meals after Grandpa passed away. She was schitzophrenic and took way to many pills. She ended up with Cancer and they didnt catch it in time to save her. But she passed away sometime in July. I dont even remember the date. That is sad.
Now the only person I have is my mom on my side of the family not including a few cousins but the next of kin. She wont make it another ten years if she doesnt get her diabetes under control. She eats what she wants and when she wants instead of taking control and eating moderately.
I was just thinking about the people in my life that made me happy and I am thankful to have had them in my life even if it was for a very short time. Life is good when you think about the good times.
Again Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your families my friends. You dont need whole bunches of people to be happy. Loads of love N and family.
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11 comments:
It sounds so sad that you've lost so many. And yet be glad they were in your life and grateful for those you have now.
aww tweets..
the older you get..the more people you have who are just memories..
Oh man - I've been going through this weirdness with my age I think. I'm realizing that more and more people in my life will be dying. It's up to us to bury them and then when the time comes (which I hope is a long time!) it will be our kids burying us. Pretty whacky stuff but like I said I think it might have to do with me hitting this age that I am, and then the holidays just sort of magnify it, and why I won't even try to quit smoking until after they're over. The memories are there, too. They were great when I was little - - all that magical feeling stuff to it. Then they got crazy and always a family fight during the holidays and some insane crisis. Then I was on my own and worked very hard to have calm, happy holidays - which I do now.
We just want to make it nice for the kids so that they can have those special holiday memories of love.
Monica's last statement says it ALL!
Your post brings back my memories of all the holidays we spent at my beloved Grandma's house. We drove 350 miles to spend time with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was bedlam and I LOVED it! Now there are too many of us to fit in anybody's house.
On the other hand, we will NEVER spend another precious holiday with L's family. WAY too dysfunctional! :(
You're so right: you can have a great time with just one or two other people; and even by yourself, y'know. Hell, sometimes more people = more hassle.
Have a great Thanksgiving, Tweetey.
It sounds like you, too, have had some adventures! Some good and some not so good. But it's always good to have the memories to go back to! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Happy Thanksgiving, Tweetey!
I try not to dwell on my childhood, girlfriend. There are too many really rotten memories. My adult life has been full of joy, and so I consider myself very lucky.
Blessings. I hope you and yours truly enjoy the day!
It's nice to remember those we've lost and be thankful for those we still have.
Jeannie it is sad but it was great having them in my life.
Cynnie I agree with you there loads.
Monica yes I agree. We try and avoid the fighting over holidays with any family members.
Tshsmom I was just thinking about it. It happens every year over Thanksgiving or X-mas. I miss them dearly but I know they are gone.
Asterisk you are right about more hassle. I love having just us four but my invitation is there if you ever get to the states.
CA I have. I dont remember them all but I have. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
Gayle I wouldnt say this is a bad memory. It is one of the best ones I have when I was kid. Except for losing everyone. But I understand you not wanting to dwell on your childhood. I know people that dont even talk about theirs.
Jay yes so true.
No, you don't. You do have a wonderful family though, good kids, and a good husband.
I'm blessed. My parents are alive and well and we get along pretty well. We didn't always, because I always had a different idea of what I wanted to do than what was acceptable. They've come to accept it, but it took them a long time.
I'm also thankful for my wife and son, both good people. Thanksgiving was fun.
Zombie things were good here. Things are hard sometimes but life is good. I am going to go down and get the tree in a bit. We have a fake tree we put up for the last three years now. LOL..
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